Hipster Thanksgiving

Man, you know what’s gotten way too mainstream?

Thanksgiving in November

So overplayed.

Dude, you know what people don’t celebrate as often in Portland?

Canadian Thanksgiving.

Oh yeah, it exists. It’s ok if you haven’t heard of it. Not many people have. But it’s huge in Canada.

And so much less commercialized. I hate overplayed Thanksgiving has gotten. It used to be cool you know?

I can’t believe people still wait till November for it. You realize celebrating in October also helps subvert Columbus day too? Don’t even get me started on Columbus. Friggin’ colonialism.

Know what else is overdone? Roses.

Dahlias are way better. Plus I got mine from a small farm. You’ve probably never heard of it.

I debated between PBR and a barrel aged sour to go with dinner, but the co-op was closed so we were stuck with wine.

Symphony is kind of a rare varietal. It’s ok if you haven’t hear of it.

(if you look closely there’s a chip in the wine glass. Cause it’s vintage)

For desert we had pie that I baked while my husband watched football. But I baked it in a totally subversive way, I swear.

(pumpkin pie is so overdone. Apple pie is where it’s at)

And then we watched Win a Date with Tad Hamilton on HBO.

Ironically of course.

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Today was my last day of work for the summer. I had a killer summer gig, and I’ve only vaguely mentioned my summer job on here, so I thought I’d tell y’all what I’ve been up to. 

Kalin L.

August 19th, 2011

Writting

I’m going to tell you about wat I did this summer. My summer was alot of fun. I did alot of fun things. One fun thing I did was to have a summer job. I did alot of fun things at my summer job. Three fun things I did were Teeching fort bilding, Teeching cake decorating, and a third thing I did was to be a Assistant to other teechers.

First I want to tell you about when I taut fort building. I taut fort bilding and it was fun. We did alot of fun things. One fun thing we did was we were bilding forts in the woods where if your not carful you can get lost and it is exciting and it is a litle scary two.

Won kid says he saw a Bear in the woods. “Theres a Bear!” but the rest of us didnt sea a bear because Im prety sure they dont live in Portland. We also were making forts in other places and won day we made a Big fort together and then we thru water balons at it and made it fall down it was really fun and we yelled alot “AHHHHH!” we said when we were throwing the water balons. It was fun.

We also builded with HUGE linkun logs. They are realy big and you can go inside when you make a house or something with them.

Next I will tell you about cake decorating. Cake decorating is fun. We used 42 pawnds of sugar! That is alot of sugar! Sugar got all over and we laffed. We make cakes and put stuf called fandont on it.

It was cool looking but not as much fun to eat. We made realy cool cakes and it was fun.

The last thing I am going to write about is helping the other teechers. This was fun because when I was the helper I didnt have to plan things or be in truble if a kid got hurt or somthing and I helped at alot of fun camps. Camps like golf and comic books and writting and things. We goed on feeld trips to. Feeld trips are when you go to another place and spend time their. We went to places like a Golf place and a Park and things. It was fun.

So now you know more about my summer vacation. It was fun. The part I liked the best was that I get paid when I am doing the fun things. I also liked the days when we eat popsikles.

The End.

By Kalin

One a Penny, Two a Penny

My Easter memories aren’t all beer and Jesus.

I’ve been a fan of the times when I’ve done things like get an extra Easter basket with Baby Brother

(Easter morning: “THE EASTER BUNNY LIKES US THE MOST! WE GOT EXTRA PRESENTS!”)

But mostly, Easter is Hot Cross Buns

My grandpa Frank was a baker

(He watches over me in my kitchen these days)

He was my maternal grandpa, but my mother never learned to bake with yeast. It makes her nervous. But she loved her dad’s baking, especially his hot cross buns.

We have his recipe, calling for things like 25 cups of flour, with notations on the side to bring it down to proportions where we’re not eating hot cross buns until Canada Day.

Every year, my daddy would spend hours in the kitchen, making hot cross bun after hot cross bun

Anyone who’s baked with yeast knows it’s a long process. And if you want them deliciously fresh, you can’t make them very far ahead of time.  So every year my daddy spends the bulk of Good Friday baking.

It’s a labor of love.

(and when things happen like towels being set on fire-which happen more often than you’d think-you hear a lot of God’s name being yelled. So I think it’s a spiritual experience too)

I’m not home for Easter this year. I’ll be spending it here in Portland, with my husband and in-laws. But I’m sharing my family’s labor of love with my own hot cross buns

Grandpa Frank’s recipe, with whole wheat flour. And part of the batch raisin-free for my husband.

I’m pretty sure Grandpa would approve.

Happy Easter! Enjoy your weekend

That Darn Leprechaun!

You won’t believe what happened in my classroom!

I’ve been teaching kindergarten this week (a BLAST. Kids are hilarious. Did you know God has a girlfriend? Learned that this week. Also, with a hundred dollars you could by a lot of cars. And strawberry yogurt mixed with chocolate milk “tastes like vanilla!”. These kids teach me a lot.) and it seems that every year on St Patrick’s day a leprechaun comes and visits the classroom!

That darn leprechaun!  He made a mess!

Chairs overturned, crayons spilled, books everywhere.

He even left paper towels all over the bathroom. “Mrs L he’s killing the trees!”

That darn leprechaun!

He left footprints all over too!

Even on the windows! “Mrs L! How did he DO THAT?!”

That darn leprechaun! He’s tricky I tell you.

My day was spent hearing “Mrs L! Mrs L! Guess what else the leprechaun did!!!”

I emerged from kindergarten with a slitting headache, a bag full of crayon pictures, a kiss on the cheek from a 5 year old boy and green paint all over my arms.

Then I made the mistake of mentioning soda bread to my husband. Because what you should do after leprechaun wrangling all day is bake.

Labor of love my friends

It was insanely good. Worth it.

Classic St Patrick’s day dinner

Corned beef, colcannon, carrots, and soda bread.

And for dessert?

Our leprechaun friend lost his gold while he was in the room, and the leftovers came home with Mrs L.

That darn leprechaun knew I’d need it.

Housewife-y

My husband remarked a few weeks ago about how I’m “the housewife* he never thought he’d have”

(My goal in life has been to disprove Ludacris’s statement that you can’t turn a ho into a housewife, so I’m not surprised by my current state in life, but I digress)

It seems he didn’t expect to marry someone who bleaches his undershirts, wears aprons, and bakes bread.

But for all that things I do mystify him sometimes (“…but, why are the towels in the laundry?  They weren’t smelly yet” “you made yogurt?“) he does love some of my habits.

Like my need to make baked goods

These are the best chocolate chip cookies in the world.  My mommy’s recipe.  I’ve never found a better chocolate chip cookie than this one.

It’s so good that I’m worried if I scale it down it won’t be right.  So instead, we have 4 dozen cookies in our house.  But I make them with whole wheat, so they’re healthy, right?

He also likes that I’ve repainted half our downstairs

Cause I’m a housewife.  Not just a kitchen wife.

EVERY WALL in our house was a different shade brown when we moved in.  There are seriously like a dozen browns going on.  I’m fixing it.

And repainting the baseboard

(Don’t repaint your baseboard.  So much taping.  But it really does look better when you’re done)

But I think really, his favorite thing is that he’ll come home from work to find me excitedly saying “I made tortillas!  And cheese!”

Because I do things like that.

I make cheese

(basic, fresco-y stuff)

And then I make tortillas

With WHITE FLOUR even (rare in our house)

and serve it all up with carnitas

And really, when I do things like this, I’d like to think that I’m not the sort of wife husband thought he’d marry it’s because I’m THAT MUCH BETTER.

Right honey?

(PS happy three years!)

*(If you’re a newer reader, I’m not a full time housewife.  I’m a substitute teacher.  But that means there are days where I don’t work.  And instead, set feminism back 50 years.  Barefoot in the kitchen and all that.)