Tag Archives: WebMD

I’m hot cause I’m fly

…or because I have the flu.  Whatevs.

This is how I’m doing
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That would be a “moderate fever” according to my friends over at WebMD.

(Also, I apparently now only post unattractive pictures of myself on the internet.  It’s to make up for when I had a myspace.)

Those same friends also told me I may have some of the following
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Yeah, if it’s not the flu, I don’t need to worry.  It’s just cancer.  Or Lyme disease.

I actually felt like crap on Wednesday, spent the day in bed, and was thinking I was alive on Thursday.  I just had an upset tummy, which I figured had more to do with something I ate.  So I’d been playing my meals safe.  I ate things like
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Rice a Roni!  I love this stuff, I won’t lie.  And I didn’t trust myself to make something mild enough that my tummy wouldn’t revolt

And I’ve eaten my fair share of these too
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Veggie burger + sandwich thin + hummus, spinach and other tastiness.

So I was feeling awesome by thursday night.  Friday, felt great.

Today?

My eats look like this
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(Do you not request a pound of strawberries with sugar on top when you’re sick?  You should.)

But as I was loading pictures this morning I realized I took this at Target the other day
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And I’m thinking the fiance needs to go to the store again.  Target knows what’s good for me.

And it’s not fruit and water.

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WebMD

I’m feeling a heck of a lot better right now.  Although I’m seriously craving another smoothie.

Only sad thing is that I found mold in the cheese

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That we used on dinner last night.  Gross.  And I realized it after I’d put some into lunch #1.  So I made lunch #2 instead

DSCN4039Rice, olives, squash, peas, parm, ‘banzos.  Super random, but it worked.

I went to Les Schwab (they sell tires and things-getting the fiance’s car battery charged).   And Les Schwab means popcorn!

DSCN4041I love popcorn.

Know what else I love?  All of you!  And your love of WebMD.  I’m glad I’m not the only WebMD addict!  Seriously, I am all about the symptom checker.

But you guys wanna hear a sad story?  (the correct answer here is yes!)

One time, WebMD FAILED me.  Like, failed me, and I went to urgent care because I thought I was dying.  Wait and you’ll see-the solution to my ills was so easy.  And WebMD MISSED it! Here’s what happened:

Last Halloween, I was lazing around, waiting for the fiance to get home.  I was so proud of myself for resisting the candy at the class party while I was student teaching AND my bowl for the trick-or-treaters.

But then I realized I hadn’t eaten… like, most of the day.  Whoops.  So I grabbed the nearest snack-some salt and vinegar chips.  Took a bite and-weird!  My mouth was suddenly shooting with pain.  Huh.  I tried again.  Ouch!

Didn’t think much of it… maybe I had a little cut or something, and the acidity of the chips was bugging it.  Ran some errands, came back home, and by then I was HUNGRY.  Tried again.  HOLY CRAP.  It hurt.  Tried eating something else.  Pain.  Weird.

Started trying to pinpoint the pain.  Only one one side.  Then I started feeling around on that side of my face and found A HUGE LUMP.  It was a big ol’ face tumor.

I didn’t take a picture, but immagine my puffy weird face post wisdom teeth

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But only on one side (god that’s an attractive picture too.  I should be a model).  My cheeks are not normally that gigantic.

So,  I got on my computer and tried to look it up.  WebMD told me I had lots of things.  Mostly, it told me if I was having sharp jaw pain (which I was) to seek immediate medical attention (seriously, go do the symptom checker)

I called the best second opinion there is, my mommy.  She said to go see a doctor, and thought maybe it was TMJ, which would mean I wasn’t dying, but needed pain meds. And you gotta understand, I’ve been to the doctor twice in the past 8 years.  So when my mommy told me to go, I figured I should go.

So, it’s about 6:30 on Halloween, and I go into an urgent care clinic.  The doctor looks at me for like ten seconds and goes “you’ve got a blocked salivary gland.”.

WHERE WERE YOU ON THAT ONE WEB MD?

So, here’s why this man was the best doctor I’ve ever been to.  He continued:

“You know the old fashioned lemon drops?”  I nodded.  “Go buy a pack of those.  Sour flavors make you salivate, which will help to push the obstruction out”  Ok, perscribing candy.  My kind of man.

Then he added “And I’m going to prescribe you some Vicodin for the pain”.

Candy and prescription painkillers.  Doctor of the year.

WebMD, where were you when I needed candy?  That said, I still adore WebMD.