Tag Archives: teaching

A Keeper

Yesterday while I taught 1st grade at a Catholic school

(best points in my day:  going to church and saying “boys!  Don’t zombie walk to mass!” and when telling kids to draw a cross on their religion paper having one ask me “can I draw Jesus on the cross? ”  Sure, you can draw a dying Jesus if you really want buddy.)

My husband was doing some presentations in town, rather than working in So-lame like normal.   Between them he was home, which meant when I got home from work I had a smiling husband on the couch and these in the fridge

St Cupcake?  Yes please!

There were big tops (chocolate chip with cream cheese frosting), peanut butter with fudge on top and pumpkin spice.

And a scarecrow.  Which amused me to no end.

You don’t wanna know how much extra the scarecrow cost.  Focus on the cute.

And because a half dozen cupcakes aren’t enough there was also this

A pumpkin whoopie pie!  From Baker & Spice.

That’s right, TWO bakeries. The man is a keeper friends.

Especially since he’s not so into pumpkin.  So I didn’t have to share two of the cupcakes or the whoopie pie!

In also good news, I booked today’s sub job yesterday afternoon, so I already had a lunch packed this morning

Carrots and hummus, peanut butter yogurt (greek yogurt + TJ’s peanut flour) with cereal to go on top, and a banana.

And even better, presentations mean he had a state car, so this morning rather than having to go drive him out to his vanpool I get to sit here with this

(a pumpkin pancake + trader joe’s pumpkin cream cheese + maple syrup)

rather than spending a full hour in the car this morning!

It’s a good day.

I’ve got a good husband.

What’s good in your day?

(I’m gearing up for today’s kinders.  ALL POSITIVE ALL THE TIME YO!!!)


Don’t Get Too Jealous…

Guys, I don’t wanna make you too jealous, but there’s been lots of cool things in my life lately.

This weekend, I went on an empty bus
(I’m pretty sure that’s how horror movies start. )

Public transit is cool kids, it’s cool.

And after drinking at the art museum (it was free beer night!  You can get a little jealous of that) I may have demanded McDonald’s, because they have monopoly right now.

I understand if you’re a little jealous because McDonald’s monopoly is super fun.  But don’t be.

1 in 4 wins my ass
That face sums up my feelings.  And my sobriety.

I’ve mentioned it before, but my house is full of apples.  Don’t get too jealous but in addition to snacking on apples the size of my face

I’ve been making things like caramel apple waffles

With oozy deliciousness on top

Apple pie, apple cake, apple waffles… It’s a tough life.

Don’t get too jealous, but I subbed at a Catholic school yesterday, and this is what greeted me at the teacher’s desk

Happy Monday to me! (yes, that’s from last week, but it hadn’t been flipped, so that’s what greeted me)

And then I taught about sin.

Not even kidding.

Don’t get too jealous guys, but in addition to teaching about sin, I get recess

And after school snacks

Grilled cheese with bacon.

(Dearest husband:  don’t get too jealous, but I cooked bacon and didn’t tell you.  Because I didn’t want to share.  Sorry!)

And, you ready to work really hard at not being jealous?

The husband and I went to a neighborhood meeting thang tonight and guess what I found

Oh yeah, Baker & Spice.

FREE Baker & Spice.

Community involvement is delicious.

I understand if you’re just a little jealous now.

What have you been up to that I should be a little jealous of?  (Besides Diana, who got a sparkly ring-I’m a little jealous of new diamonds!)


Subbing is an adventure.

Some days, you get to have a blast teaching Kindergarteners about how to write a 2 (“boys and girls make sure after you make the belly on the two you make a pointy spot before you do the line”) and have them in stitches giggling at Duck on a Bike


Kids loved it.  “The duck is on a BIKE!” Giggles all around.

(no the book doesn’t have anything deeper to make it super funny.  It’s a duck.  On a bike.  The kids were rolling on the ground laughing.  I went with it).

But some days, the teacher you’re subbing for calls you the night before and describes her class.  “They’re like the velociraptors in Jurassic Park”


Adding to the list of things I’ve taught where I’m unqualified:  special ed, middle school, Russian immersion (seriously I’ve taught it), PE, and…. dinosaurs.

I student taught at this school.  It’s a tough school.  The poorest in the district last I checked.  In a housing project.  These kids have a lot going on at home.  There are teachers there who are just burned out.

It was going to be a long day.

There was a late start, but I still had to be there at 7:45.  I corrected some papers, ate breakfast
I never drink enough water unless my blood sugar is really effed (in which case I cannot drink enough.).  I get different water-ish things to make myself drink more.  Currently I’m all about the seltzer water.  Plus Trader Joe’s Greek yogurt (with an absurd amount of cinnamon stirred in.  So good.)

And wrote a blog post.  Which somehow was eaten.

Good morning, you’re teaching velociraptors and technology hates you.


Then I got a text from the teacher, asking me to please have the kids put their stuff into plastic garbage bags


Oh there’s a bedbug infestation in the housing project this school is located in.

Clearly, my day was just getting better and better.

And they’d added in a scripted reading program.

“Scripted” means I get a book like this
Blue = I read.  “Signal” = I snap, and the kids are supposed to respond.  The snapping feels like dog training or something.   Not a fan.

I had leftover soup for lunch
(which was tasty!) and got through the rest of the day.

After the bell rang, two girls asked if they could stay to work on homework. Most of the kids go to the Boys and Girls club after school, and there should be space and staff to help with homework.  But I hear it’s kinda crazy down there.  So as much as I wanted a dinosaur-less room, a snack, and an advil, I let them stay.

One of them, at the end, looked up at me with big eyes and said “I’ve never had a teacher help me with homework before!”

She’s in third grade.  And she hasn’t ever had a teacher take 5 minutes to help her with homework.

There’s a reason kids turn into velociraptors.

When you live in a neighborhood where people get murdered outside your school?  (yeah, that happened this summer)  When it takes your 4th year at a school before a teacher helps you?  When vandalism is such a problem at your school that you get ONE chance, and only one chance, to use the bathroom all morning?

And the problem is, I can’t undo it all.

But I can take a deep breath and say “sure” to something a child asks, even if I don’t want to.

Because really, I didn’t get into teaching just because I loved using pointers and white boards

(although I do love both)

And when you feel like you’ve got a classroom full of velociraptors, you have to remember that your job is to help them become people.

(and when you get home from working on helping dinosaurs become people, ice cream and ibuprofen are a totally acceptable after school snack)


See this?
It went into this
Happy happy Kalin.

And look guys!  I’ve been a real blogger

with raspberry jam, almonds, and brown sugahhh.  Heaven.

I’ve been working every day.  Madness.  We’re out of a lot of crucial things in this house (celery, hummus, crackers, you get the idea…) so I did something crazy

Sandwich for lunch!
With an apple
Because I am, after all, a teacher.

Lame post, yes.  But I’m getting ready to head off to the ‘hood and learn some second graders.

What are you doing for Memorial Day?  We’re going to surreal America for my bridal shower.  This is going to be our first time leaving Takeout, and we’re totally paranoid.  Which means we’re spending 45 bucks to board her somewhere, even though I had a ton of cat owners tell me she’d be fine on her own.
Could you leave this little bear-face without love for a weekend?  We clearly can’t.

“I’m just askin’ miss”

I’ve been teaching 2nd grade this week.  Which has been highly amusing, but also leading to a lot of this post work
Seriously, if you spent days answering questions like “Could you clone a person, but make them into a dog?  Like, a dog person?” (he followed up with “you can I think”) and “Are hillbillies black or white?  I’m not trying to be racist or anything, I’m just askin’ miss” you’d want a drink too.

Those were real questions.  Asked totally out of nowhere.

Thankfully it’s been gorgeous in Portland, so at least recess duty is fun.

Nice weather means that tonight we finally got to have dinner outside from the grill.
Err, the fiance had a grilled dinner.  I let him add this to my plate
I’m not made to be a carnivore.

Beautiful weather + deck + beeeeeer
Life is good.

Plus, the kitten is adorable
(She peed in the papers right after I took that picture.  Awesome)

Then she gave me big eyes
So I couldn’t be mad.

What do you guys like from the grill?  Grilled corn is possibly one of my favorite foods on earth-I can’t wait for it to be in season!

Ladies who lunch

So, I noticed some of you guys commented on my lunch in my last post, so I thought I’d give you guys a run down of how I make super quick lunches.

Being a sub means sometimes, you get a call at 9:35 for a job that started at 9:30.  And is 25 minutes from your house.  I’ve learned to get dressed and put together fast… But I had practice on that in college.

Eating, on the other hand, wasn’t something I was too into in college…. (unless quad americanos and popcorn with a side of cigarettes are what you’d call breakfast AND lunch)  So packing lunches has been more of a challenge.

If I’m at home I’d much rather have a happy, warm lunch, so I don’t wanna pack stuff, and then be sadly eating my cold lunch at home if I don’t work.  So pre-packing is out.  (I do pre-pack the fiance’s lunches, and I have a method for those too….)

Here’s what I do…

First, I check the fridge for protein options

Yesterday my fridge had yogurt, hummus, and peanut butter.  I’ll also do cheese with crackers, but we’re out of crackers, so I didn’t even consider the cheese.

We always have peanut butter, yogurt, and cheddar cheese in the fridge.  I’ve totally categorized artichoke dip in with this in my head before.  Not kidding.  It has cheese?

Then I see what I’ve got for veggies

Yesterday it was carrots, celery, tomato, and broccoli.

We always have at least carrots and celery in out house.

And I check out the fruit

We had strawberries, bananas, and apples

I try to keep at least two types of fruit (this time of year it’s generally oranges, apples, and/or bananas) on hand

And I look for other fun things to add

Pretzels, pudding, mini lara bars, almonds, cereal, granola bars

I usually do some sort of fruit + yogurt or fruit + peanut butter, veggies + dip, and something crunchy and carby.

And I keep extras, like the almonds, the lara bars, and the granola bars in my bag just in case.

Here’s the lunch I ended up with

Celery, carrots, tomato, and hummus

And some random sides

pretzels, apples, peanut butter.

I try to pack more than I think I’ll want, so that I have snacks.  And on days when I’m really in a hurry I’m not above throwing a whole jar of PB in my bag.

There are some things I don’t do in my lunch…

I don’t do things that have to be microwaved because some days you’ve got about 20 minutes to eat.  And if you have to wait behind two or three other people to heat your food, you just don’t have time.

And I don’t pack meat because I try and keep that to one meal per day, and that’s generally dinner.  Plus, lunch meat is icky.

I don’t pack sandwiches partly because I don’t adore them, and partly because getting all the stuff for them out takes a while, and makes more work for me.

I don’t generally have a main “meal” to my lunch, more smaller components.  Again partly because of the microwave, and also because I like to be able to snack through the day-its easier to snack with a lunch like this.

But that’s how I do my two minute lunches!  They’re not super exciting, but they’re better than PB&J, and fast!

Do you pack lunches?  Whats your method?

Life Skills

Thanks for all the get wells!

Did you know I have life skills?

My Saturday was spent declaring “I’m better!” every time my temperature went below 100.  Being healthy is a life skill.

I was wrong a couple times.

We’ll call it a skill in progress.

I also attempted to eat

Quality nutrition is an important life skill, especially when you’re sick.
(Plus, blizzards were buy one, get one for 25 cents!)

And I also attempted to hydrate
I did better on the hydrating.  (I sent the poor fiance to the co-op to buy the coconut water.  He had NO clue what I was talking about)

Thankfully, by Sunday night I was far more alive, and made myself what I’d been lacking

Giant plate of veggies!

Me likkie veggies.  A lot.  This  a life skill the fiance lacks.  He had steak.

Today I packed a lunch in 2 minutes
(packing lunches quickly is a very useful life skill when you’re a sub!)

And I went and taught….

you guessed it

Life Skills!

It was my first time doing true SpEd, and it was actually a lot of fun.

The best part?

We made cupcakes!

THAT is a life skill I have!

(I thought taking pictures of the kids would make me a creeper)

And I get to go back tomorrow…. who knows what we’ll get to do!