Eat your heart out Rachel Ray

Baby Brother and I used to have a couple shows we thought were the funniest things on TV.

You could find us sitting on the couch, laughing our faces off to our two favorite shows:

Nancy Grace


and Rachel Ray


We loved how Nancy was always outraged.  We may have tried to call a few times because we wanted to say “I’m just outraged Nancy!” on the air.

We didn’t get through.

And we loved Rachel Ray because…. well, the lady is crazy.

Our favorite thing was how she’d make an abbreviation for EVERYTHING.  And then, because she has about 898908098 different acronyms, she had to explain them all.

“So you need some S & P-that’s salt and pepper-and then you add in some EVOO-that’s extra virgin olive oil-and then toss the scraps in your GB-that’d be your garbage bowl.”

Loved it.

But her food?  Well, I knew I could make a better meal than her.  In 30 minutes even.  I do it quite often. Life aint all making yogurt and bread my friends.  Sometimes, you gotta be lazy.

Step 1:

Start your rice cooker. Wonder why there’s whisky on your kitchen counter.

Step 2:

Do all the dishes you’ve been ignoring for the past 3 days

Step 3:

Spend way too long playing Angry Birds on your phone.  Google how to pass level 3-2.

Step 4:

Realize the rice is almost done, and get your booty in gear-Gather up:

  • Peanut butter
  • Rice vinegar
  • Red Pepper Flakes
  • Ground ginger
  • Garlic
  • Frozen Meatballs
  • Green Beans

take the meatballs out of the freezer and nuke ’em for a few minutes.  While that’s going dump a big spoonful of PB into a pan with some water, vinegar, and the spices.  Stir.  In another pan put the green beans with water and garlic.
Step 5:

Dice up some peanuts. If dinner looks pretty it’ll seem like there was effort involved.

Step 6:
Plate it up!

Step 7:

Don’t say Yum-o cause that sounds dumb.

But maybe think it, just a little.

Who on TV do you love to hate?


8 responses to “Eat your heart out Rachel Ray

  1. I CANNOT stand Gayle on Top Chef. She makes me nuts. I hate her comments, her voice is like nails on a chalkboard and she makes me crazy.

  2. Ray Ray drives me absolutely crazy. I can’t watch her. Or Barefoot Contessa, “Jeffrey’s going to LOVE this.”

  3. I find Rachel Ray SO incredibly annoying.

  4. dear god don’t say yum-o or i’ll punch-yo. Jk…kinda. ANyways RR is so annoying but her meals are pretty easy and good..sorry…and I love to hate Camille on real housewives of beverly hills…can’t stop!

  5. Yes! Rachel Ray is nuts! Seriously. I think the evolution of her “character” is interesting too. I have one of her first cookbooks and her picture looks totally different than how she looks now.

  6. I have to say Rachel Ray is crazy but I love to watch her. I do love to hate Sandra Lee I must say – minus the fact she is gorgeous and serves up a cocktail with every meal – her food sometimes….is questionable!

  7. Rachel Ray is a maniac, but in a harmless way. I love to hate the Man vs. Food guy. It makes me sick and hungry all at the same time.

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