This is a lie as she wanted to name me Regan. And Dannon. (Republican yogurt!). And really, I’m not that clumsy.
But when I have clumsy moments, I go for epic.
Once, on a car trip, we got out at a park to eat lunch. I got out of the car and immediately walked into and fell over a boulder. Baby Brother was behind me, and got yelled at for pushing me.
He tried to defend himself, explaining “she tripped!”
Our mother stared at him in disbelief. “How would someone trip over a rock that big?”
Sheepishly, I had to dust myself off and explain that yeah, I’m that awesome.
I do awesomely silly things like that far too often. I take pans out of the oven and touch them. I walk into doorways. I have closed a car door onto my hand.
And like I said, my fingers met the immersion blender this weekend. I’d been making refried beans and they were sticking to the blade.
Clearly, the best course of action was to poke at them with my finger.
As I poked I thought “I really should unplug this before I’m touching the blades.”
And while thinking that, somehow managed to turn the blender on.
(I’m restraining myself from showing you my finger. It’s gross. There are cuts on the front which mean my nail is purple. Plus more on the back! Fun!)
(I tried to tell my husband this. He said “Look it up on WebMD. I bet it’ll say you have cancer!”)
What’s your worst cooking injury? For years I had a scar from being burned. At Baskin Robbins. Only I could manage to burn myself in an ice cream store.