Sometimes, I feel like people don’t take me seriously.
Years ago I told my friend Emily “Someday, I’m going to be really really fat. But I won’t be sad because I’ll have elastic waist pants and ice cream”
But then I discovered if I eat like a normal person I have a pretty rad metabolism. Can I eat whatever I want and be a size two? Hells no. But eating whatever I want has never put into ElasticWaistVille.
Which is kinda sad. Because I seriously did want some.
But Jesus loves me so ElasticWaistVille became TRENDY.
Yesterday I realized I really truly needed some jeggings. I texted my husband. He thought I was joking.
The lack of being taken seriously has been going on for years.
In undergrad I was a sociology major. People would ask “what are you going to do with that?”
I’d answer “become a housewife!”
Also a serious fact?
When crack oranges* come into season I talk about eating my body weight in them.
People think I’m joking but seriously, I think I ate 6 yesterday.
*crack oranges = satsuma mandarins. They’re addictive. Like crack. Crack that prevents scurvy.
Another serious fact?
(that may or may not just be a reminder to my husband for Christmas…)
I need these boots
to go with my jeggings.