Down Home Cooking with Baby Brother

My favorite new tradition: (that i just started while our kitchen was torn up) KFC night. (sometimes, Baby Brother invents traditions.  That may or may not be followed by other people.  He feels like if he uses the word tradition you can’t say no.  So he’ll do things like say “it’s time for the traditional Thanksgiving fireworks!”) It is supposed to be Mondays, but this week we went thursday instead (I like how Monday got capitalized, but thursday is a loser face with its lower case t), but oh wow is KFC amazing. And the best part of KFC is those amazing biscuits you get. damn jesus does a good job baking those (because there is no other way they can be that amazing, jesus must be back there making them).

But this post, believe it or not, is more of a traditional foodie blawg posty thing, and not as much like my typical “im baby brother, and i went to mcdonalds 37 times this week” I cooked my family a meal, and no one got sick! AND it even had a vegetarian (maybe vegan? watch at the end for proof if you’re a vegan Baby Brother shouldn’t cook for you) part to it.

The wonderful Eating Machine got me the Billy Mays big city clider maker for my birthday, so today boys and girls, we will be making sliders!

STEP ONE: get ingredients. recipe calls for 1 TV to watch Paula Dean on, 1 lb ground beef, 1 teaspoon steak seasoning, 1 remote to flip channels between Paula and Rachel Ray, and a dash of Worcestershire.

Baby Brother and I used to watch Food Network together, and laugh hysterically at it.  Our mom would come to see what was so funny and we’d be going “Rachel Ray is explaining her acronyms again! She said ‘EVOO-thats extra virgin olive oil!” or “Paula Dean just added mayo on top of fried food!”

She didn’t get it.

(see my fancy new granite counters!! aint the spiffy!)

STEP TWO: combine ingredients.

STEP THREE: (step three is only for my paula dean version) ADD SOME BUTTER, THEN DEEP FRY AND TOP WITH BUTTER. Then add a cup of mayonnaise

STEP FOUR: Sing I’m awesome. IM AWESOME, no youre not dude dont lie.

Ringtone Taylor Swift?

and while singing you can scoop the meat into the slider maker.

STEP FIVE: Drink some vitamin water. cooking takes a lot of energy!

STEP SIX: Brush you teeth with a bottle of jack, if you are leaving for the night and not coming back. and while you do that, press the slider maker down and place on the stove on medium heat.

(this was the very FIRST thing cooked on the new stove!)

New stove is pretty!

STEP SEVEN: try to avoid putting in bad ke$ha references that dont flow like in step 6.

STEP EIGHT: They are done once they are cooked… so like not red = done.

serve on slider buns, or just rolls work too i think. and enjoy!

oh and the vegetarian part of the meal i mentioned? the side:

chips! potatoes are vegetables. and the package is green. that means it is natural.

and sour CREAM is vegan, right?

oh, and I GOT A NEW TOY!

Now I can blog from my iPad!

ORRRR talk into it and pretend you’ve got a giant iPhone!  That’s what I would do with one.  That and play Diner Dash.

Baby Brother, is that all you ate for dinner?  ONE slider?

Who else loves sliders?  Baby Brother and I both love miniature food.  Also, giant food.  We’re cool like that.

6 responses to “Down Home Cooking with Baby Brother

  1. And you even used real plates! Talk about classy.
    This recipe cracked me up to no end. I suggest a cookbook.

  2. Ipad is too huge for me. I guess the sliders cancel it out!

  3. I have never had a slider!!! Please send baby brother over to my house to make me one 🙂

  4. I love sliders too. That is a great gift. But, an iPad…OMG. You lucky you. I’m for the cookbood too. I think we need more cooks like you. I totally got the Ke$ha reference, which is kind of sad. I am 30 ish now.

  5. Oops. Cookbook.

  6. i was enjoying this post until i saw baby brother got an ipad. hes not my friend anymore.
    in all seriousness. love the brother sister commentary. if my brother was remotely this cool with me we’d be all over it. but the thing is I eat a lot and baby brother doesnt eat much unless its a protein shake.
    that wouldnt be entertaining.
    reading lu’s correction comment I thoght for a moment she mispelled cookbook with…c*ckbook. that woulda been funny.

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