She’s Beauty, She’s Grace…

Hey everyone!  Happy Sunday!  I’m going to spend the day drinking with my future in-laws… This should be interesting…

So far no one has gotten the contest right-I’m adding another hint!

So, one time, I was in a pageant.

No, seriously, a pageant.  Er, a “scholarship competition”.  A scholarship competition that involved wearing a swimming suit and clear heels onstage.

You know, just like National Merit.

I wish there was some awesome story of how I signed up… You know, that I did it as a sociology experiment, or someone bet me a hundred bucks… But basically, a girl I went to college with thought it’d be amusing to sign up.  So 4 of us did.

We were all in the honors program.  Weird how none of us won.

My headshot was one of my favorite things.  You can’t tell here, but I was hungover beyond belief-I had finally stopped throwing up about a half hour before the picture was taken, I had a hickey, (oops, accident!) and a bruise the size of a cereal bowl on my leg that no one remembered me getting

scan0001And somehow the only bad that came of it was the light hitting my brows weird.

Being in a pageant had lots of good points.  Like, when we tried on wardrobe.

Did you know what the nice name for a girdle is?  Cause we all learned it!

“Honey, have you thought about getting a body shaper?”

Also, learned they make adhesive “boobs in a box” (I knew the chicken cutlets exisited–but there are ones that STICK TO YOUR CHEST.  WTF)

Clearly, this is all about empowerment.

I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t fun though.  We got free services from a beauty school (facials, pedicures, waxing, hair cuts, etc), and for the most part it was just hanging out with some other women doing girly things.

Except, you know, with clear heels.

The pageant was held at a casino, adding to the overall sexy.

We competed in interview, talent, on stage question, swimwear, and evening gown.  You can see how it’s about scholarship, right?

My casual wear was Wet Seal and Nordstroms rack clearance.  And shoes I already owned.  Under 10 bucks.

Which I think were 12 buck Target clearance.  If I could’ve bargain shopped on stage, I would have a tiara.

I think the look on my face in swimwear sums up my thoughts pretty well

You glue the swimsuit to your butt.  Not kidding.

Did a monologue for talent

Shirt was 2 dollars at Value village, skirt was 5 buck clearance and JC Penny’s.  Telling you, if shopping were a talent…

On stage interview.  I love suits.

My hairdresser (we each got a hairdresser from the beauty school) made my hair all crazy-pants for the evening gown part, so I’m lacking in decent pics there, but here’s everyone in that

My favorite thing is that my friends made a poster to support me.  And they put my picture on it.  To make sure everyone knew just how pretty I was, they picked a picture from a Pimps & Hos party.  Thanks guys!

So that was my pageant experience.  Body slimmers, bobs in a box, butt glue, and honestly a decent amount of fun.

Plus, if you’ve strutted across a stage in a swimsuit and heels, what can’t you do?


8 responses to “She’s Beauty, She’s Grace…

  1. I love the swimming suit face. This sounds like it was totally worth doing just for the story you now have to tell about that time you were in a pageant. 😉

  2. OMG kudos for getting up there and shaking your thing! That takes a lot of courage

    You look fabulous!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. you look gorgeous in the casual wear girlie!! rock it 🙂

  4. Umm…do you still have those boobs in a box? If by chance you wanted to sell them to “someone,” I could probably find “someone” to take them off your hands…

  5. yay, you fulfilled my request to tell us more about pageant life 🙂 that’s pretty brave of you to do a pageant.

  6. Can I guess again … if so, how about New York.

    Boobs in a box – LOL 🙂

  7. Pingback: Questions? | I'm an Eating Machine!

  8. Why have I never seen this before? This is the greatest post ever. You glue it to your butt?!?!?!!?

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