I’m feeling a heck of a lot better right now.  Although I’m seriously craving another smoothie.

Only sad thing is that I found mold in the cheese


That we used on dinner last night.  Gross.  And I realized it after I’d put some into lunch #1.  So I made lunch #2 instead

DSCN4039Rice, olives, squash, peas, parm, ‘banzos.  Super random, but it worked.

I went to Les Schwab (they sell tires and things-getting the fiance’s car battery charged).   And Les Schwab means popcorn!

DSCN4041I love popcorn.

Know what else I love?  All of you!  And your love of WebMD.  I’m glad I’m not the only WebMD addict!  Seriously, I am all about the symptom checker.

But you guys wanna hear a sad story?  (the correct answer here is yes!)

One time, WebMD FAILED me.  Like, failed me, and I went to urgent care because I thought I was dying.  Wait and you’ll see-the solution to my ills was so easy.  And WebMD MISSED it! Here’s what happened:

Last Halloween, I was lazing around, waiting for the fiance to get home.  I was so proud of myself for resisting the candy at the class party while I was student teaching AND my bowl for the trick-or-treaters.

But then I realized I hadn’t eaten… like, most of the day.  Whoops.  So I grabbed the nearest snack-some salt and vinegar chips.  Took a bite and-weird!  My mouth was suddenly shooting with pain.  Huh.  I tried again.  Ouch!

Didn’t think much of it… maybe I had a little cut or something, and the acidity of the chips was bugging it.  Ran some errands, came back home, and by then I was HUNGRY.  Tried again.  HOLY CRAP.  It hurt.  Tried eating something else.  Pain.  Weird.

Started trying to pinpoint the pain.  Only one one side.  Then I started feeling around on that side of my face and found A HUGE LUMP.  It was a big ol’ face tumor.

I didn’t take a picture, but immagine my puffy weird face post wisdom teeth

Photo 25

But only on one side (god that’s an attractive picture too.  I should be a model).  My cheeks are not normally that gigantic.

So,  I got on my computer and tried to look it up.  WebMD told me I had lots of things.  Mostly, it told me if I was having sharp jaw pain (which I was) to seek immediate medical attention (seriously, go do the symptom checker)

I called the best second opinion there is, my mommy.  She said to go see a doctor, and thought maybe it was TMJ, which would mean I wasn’t dying, but needed pain meds. And you gotta understand, I’ve been to the doctor twice in the past 8 years.  So when my mommy told me to go, I figured I should go.

So, it’s about 6:30 on Halloween, and I go into an urgent care clinic.  The doctor looks at me for like ten seconds and goes “you’ve got a blocked salivary gland.”.


So, here’s why this man was the best doctor I’ve ever been to.  He continued:

“You know the old fashioned lemon drops?”  I nodded.  “Go buy a pack of those.  Sour flavors make you salivate, which will help to push the obstruction out”  Ok, perscribing candy.  My kind of man.

Then he added “And I’m going to prescribe you some Vicodin for the pain”.

Candy and prescription painkillers.  Doctor of the year.

WebMD, where were you when I needed candy?  That said, I still adore WebMD.


15 responses to “WebMD

  1. LOL great story…I love salt n vinegar chips but sometimes they DO hurt your mouth, so I could totally understand!

  2. I hate moldy cheese. That’s why I hardly keep any in my dorm
    Is it weird I’ve never used WebMD? I think if I did i would find abotu 20 life threatening diseases because I’m a hypocondriac

  3. holy moly, vicodin on halloween. that has to be on your best halloween ever list!

    thinking about it I feel a pain in my jaw 😉

  4. That is the best cure I’ve ever heard of. And I’m also amazed at the crazy stuff that can go haywire in our bodies. Seriously, salivary glands, what’s up with that?

  5. WebMD is such a great site…I usually print out what I find and take it to my appt (I am sure they looooove that lol)

    That was a great story and picture… for some reason you remind me of Reese Witherspoon =)

  6. Haha, I never really use WebMD, but it sounds like it’ll be useful someday (though it didn’t help too much in your case). You do have an amazing doctor! I keep changing mine after my old doctor went to India. It’s hard to find a good one!

    Love the random bowl of eats. Squash, peas, olives, rice, and cheese sounds like a tasty combo 🙂

  7. That is the best story EVER. Seems like whenever I go online to see what’s up with me, it always tell me that I’m dying. I can’t believe he gave you Vicodin.

  8. LOL Awesome story – totally my kind of doctor! I have never used WebMD before, but I have totally self diagnosed based on things I have found on the internet, and then been completely wrong.

  9. I hate it when I’m seriously in the mood for something and then when I find it it’s covered in mold. That happens a lot at my house; A LOT. I think we throw about $15 of food out ever month. Which probably wouldn’t be the case if we grew most of our food. My sisters at the doctor right now, but she probably won’t get to eat candy to get better (she’s got scoliosis). Your pictures made me laugh btw hahaha.

  10. Candy + painkillers = fab-u-luss. My kind of man.

    I love/hate WebMD. Bad for hypochondriacs!

  11. I am obsessed with webmd even though it’s failed me several times. A blocked gland sounds painful to me! Glad candy did the trick!

  12. I hateeeee moldy cheese! I check the whole bag b4 eating it!

  13. I need your doc’s address. Vicodin and candy? Is he married? Oh, wait. I am. Darn.

  14. Pingback: Happy day « I'm an Eating Machine!

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