Dear Fred Meyer;
I just wanted to let you know, we’re not besties anymore.
I know, we go way back. Those days when I was 3, riding in a cart, with my mom giving me pieces of soft white bread to keep me quite while she grocery shopped, those were great. And when I got older you were my hook up for blue Wed ‘n’Wild nail polish. I loved you for that. You gave my brother a part time job with full benefits when he first got married, which meant him and his wife could go to school. Who else gives employees working 28 hours a week full benefits? That’s something I always admired about you. And remember when I worked there? You paid me, even though I was supposed to tell people about power tools and was worthless at it. You stuck by me when I picked the wrong base color for THREE gallons of paint, and we had to remix them. When I moved last summer, and didn’t get the internet installed for a month you Fred, you gave me free Wi-Fi…
But Fred Meyer, things have changed. You got bought out by Kroger 10 years ago. And I can cope with that, I know these things happen. I’ve still kept faith, knowing that you would stick to your northwest roots. But… I’m beginning to doubt that. I cannot find a jug of milk in your store that says it’s from Oregon. Not a single one! Instead they say they’re distributed by Kroger out of Ohio, and then tell me they’re from plant # whatever. That doesn’t help Fred, it doesn’t help. Albertsons sells Aplenrose Fred, I don’t know why you don’t.
And then the corn! Corn, as we know, grows here, in God’s land, in the Northwest. And yet you Fred, you sell us corn from Colorado. We’re not in Colorado Fred, we’re not. Why is the corn from there?
But this week. This week was the final straw. I saw this in your ad.
New apples! From Washington! We’ll be honest with each other Fred, we know most apples in the store have been in cold storage since last fall. And, well, after 11 or so months in cold storage, they get a little less delicious. So I was so excited! New apples! From Washington! I went, and I got some of those apples. I got those apples, and when I got home I discovered this Fred, this:
New Zealand is not Washington, Fred. It’s not.
I’ve stood by you Fred, stood by you my entire life. And what did you give back to me? Lies. Lies about apples!
Who lies about apples?
I guess the answer is you, Fred Meyer, you.
What’s on my list today?
Finding a new bestie.
Love, Your Friend, Sadly,