I’m feeling a heck of a lot better right now. Although I’m seriously craving another smoothie.
Only sad thing is that I found mold in the cheese

That we used on dinner last night. Gross. And I realized it after I’d put some into lunch #1. So I made lunch #2 instead
Rice, olives, squash, peas, parm, ‘banzos. Super random, but it worked.
I went to Les Schwab (they sell tires and things-getting the fiance’s car battery charged). And Les Schwab means popcorn!
I love popcorn.
Know what else I love? All of you! And your love of WebMD. I’m glad I’m not the only WebMD addict! Seriously, I am all about the symptom checker.
But you guys wanna hear a sad story? (the correct answer here is yes!)
One time, WebMD FAILED me. Like, failed me, and I went to urgent care because I thought I was dying. Wait and you’ll see-the solution to my ills was so easy. And WebMD MISSED it! Here’s what happened:
Last Halloween, I was lazing around, waiting for the fiance to get home. I was so proud of myself for resisting the candy at the class party while I was student teaching AND my bowl for the trick-or-treaters.
But then I realized I hadn’t eaten… like, most of the day. Whoops. So I grabbed the nearest snack-some salt and vinegar chips. Took a bite and-weird! My mouth was suddenly shooting with pain. Huh. I tried again. Ouch!

Didn’t think much of it… maybe I had a little cut or something, and the acidity of the chips was bugging it. Ran some errands, came back home, and by then I was HUNGRY. Tried again. HOLY CRAP. It hurt. Tried eating something else. Pain. Weird.
Started trying to pinpoint the pain. Only one one side. Then I started feeling around on that side of my face and found A HUGE LUMP. It was a big ol’ face tumor.
I didn’t take a picture, but immagine my puffy weird face post wisdom teeth

But only on one side (god that’s an attractive picture too. I should be a model). My cheeks are not normally that gigantic.
So, I got on my computer and tried to look it up. WebMD told me I had lots of things. Mostly, it told me if I was having sharp jaw pain (which I was) to seek immediate medical attention (seriously, go do the symptom checker)

I called the best second opinion there is, my mommy. She said to go see a doctor, and thought maybe it was TMJ, which would mean I wasn’t dying, but needed pain meds. And you gotta understand, I’ve been to the doctor twice in the past 8 years. So when my mommy told me to go, I figured I should go.
So, it’s about 6:30 on Halloween, and I go into an urgent care clinic. The doctor looks at me for like ten seconds and goes “you’ve got a blocked salivary gland.”.
WHERE WERE YOU ON THAT ONE WEB MD?
So, here’s why this man was the best doctor I’ve ever been to. He continued:
“You know the old fashioned lemon drops?” I nodded. “Go buy a pack of those. Sour flavors make you salivate, which will help to push the obstruction out” Ok, perscribing candy. My kind of man.

Then he added “And I’m going to prescribe you some Vicodin for the pain”.
Candy and prescription painkillers. Doctor of the year.
WebMD, where were you when I needed candy? That said, I still adore WebMD.