Small Town Girl

Population-wise, where I grew up isn’t that small.

But trust me friends, I’m from a small town.

Case in point-Friday of Thanksgiving we went to HOCKEY

Here in Portland, hockey games are unfun.  I went once.  The best part was drinking out of my sippy cup on the max to the game.

(Let’s not judge that I was drinking tequila in public from a princess cup, ok?)

But in surreal america?  Oh hockey is AWESOME.

For starters, Beer and I recommitted.

True Luv.

(Shampoo and I on the other hand look like we’re seeing other people in this picture.  Hot.)

And there were fights

And when they play Cotton Eye Joe both small children AND middle aged men take their shirts off

The husband didn’t believe this really happened.  It does.

And we got the best nachos EVER

Baby Brother was all mad saying “I just spent $7 on nachos”

Then he ate some.

Holy Mother.

You know when bad for you food hits that right point?

These were it.

Hockey games-you love em?  I adore them, clearly, so long as they’re in my hometown.

What’s your favorite stadium food?

Off for a tetanus shot!  Back later with Life Lessons I Learn For You:  Don’t stick your finger in the immersion blender.

Because I may have done that.  Whoops.

Sterotypical Turkey Day Post

I was trying to figure out how I could recap my Thanksgiving in true I’m an Eating Machine style.

I cooked very little of it, because part of going home is not having to do that.  My niece and I make the rolls the day before.   That was the extent of my cooking.

I don’t have have any awesome “stay healthy for the holidays!” tips.  I don’t eat the stuffing?  Because I don’t like it.

(That’d be my dinner-turkey, a roll, lots o gravy, peas, carrots, rutabegas, and sweet potatoes.)

I guess there’s a tip:  have a lifelong dislike of stuffing.  Saves more room for pie.

So rather than a post of here’s what I ate, or here’s what a I cooked, or here’s how to be healthy, I present….

What I drank on thanksgiving.

Coffee at the turkey trot

Plus Gatorade.  Gatorade is delicious.  I’m perpetually dehydrated, so I carry a drink (normally water) when I run.

See how those gloves look too small?  Turns out when you find gloves with Eyore on them at your parent’s house they might be kids sized, not grownup sized.  Life lessons.

Then more coffee at Baby Brother’s Starbucks

I had a swig of peppermint shnapps because it’s important to drink before noon.

I am not kidding on that.

Husband and Baby Brother took tequila shots.  This is my life.

My blood was about 97% caffiene at this point, so I ate lunch and drank some water in there.  And by water I mean diet Vernors

This stuff is delicious.   Other ginger ales taste blandddd once you’ve had it.

Then switched to wine.  Shocking.

Getting married is awesome, btw, because it means there’s always someone to get you another drink.  My glass refilled itself over and over without me doing it.

Dinnertime meant double fisting

I might have taught my 2 year old niece to yell “double fisting!” when she’s got two sippy cups this weekend.  It happens.

And then….

This happened

Gravy shots?

Yeah.

Gravy shots.

There’s no good explanation.  We had gravy.  And shot glasses.  It just seemed to make sense.  Someone else took a shot of butter.

Post dinner we had coffee and tea.  I’m in loves with this Trader Joe’s ish

But really, once you have had gravy shots, just tea doesn’t cut it.  So this happened

Rum and tea work!  Life lesson right there!

And finally, we ended the night looking at the giant stack of ads, with one last glass of wine (and a beer for my husband)

Happy Thanksgiving friends.

So, what did you drink?

I’m going to stuff my face

Because i ran a 5k today.

And not just any 5k.  A 5k in 17 degree weather.  With snow.

Seriously.

Seventeen degrees.

(Because I know I’ll get asked:  I wore a compression shirt, a long sleeved shirt, a vest, gloves, capri running tights, and sweat pants.  The sweat pants are ugly as sin, but they were $5 at Target.  And now that I own sweat pants I’m going to wear them all the time.  I’m married, I can let myself go.)
This is the race my brothers stalked Sarah Palin at last year.   This year instead of Alaska’s former governor, we got Alaska’s weather.

Hot drinks were a must

Husband + Me + Baby Brother + one of my older brothers + sis-in-law all did it.

We’re champs.

We were totallllly excited

See all the other crazy people?

Post run, Baby Brother’s water looked like this

That’s ice on the sides.  Yikes.

But no one got frostbite and the clock said 37 minutes when the husband and I finished (no chip time, sadly.  The start was supahhh slow).  So we’re winners

And now, it’s 1:00, and I’ve only had one drink.  I’ve got some catching up to do.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Halloween!

My finest pumpkin carving moment came in college

(hard to see, but one says “pumpkin”, one “jack o lantern” and the third has a jack-o-lantern carved onto it.)

We called those our PoMo pumpkins.

This year’s pumpkin aren’t as crazy

But they’re pretty!

(a Laurelwood Free Range Red-yes, beer-logo, a face, and stars.  by my husband, my mother and law, and me)

Baby Brother, on the other hand, has come a long ways from 7th grade, when he forgot to get a costume and borrowed my work clothes for Halloween

(prophecy of his future right there friends.  prophecy)

These days he’s helping my parents house be the most over decorated house on the block

seriously

and carving pumpkins of things he loves

The best part is the stuffed gorilla out front

Which actually comes to life and is…

Baby Brother!

Happy Halloween!

What’re you doing tonight?

Wedding Weekend, Take 1

Thanks for all the love everyone!  You’re all amazing

Before we could actually get married, we had to, you know, practice

Some of us were skeptical about the whole affair

Some of us were a little unclear on what our job was

(see how happy he looks with the baskets?  he was quite bummed they weren’t really for him)

Some of us took our jobs VERY seriously

Some of us made this face after having one flower girl reach up her dress while saying “Kalin, let’s go sit down!” And the other one trying to stake their territory by smacking my leg and saying “Me Auntie!  ME Auntie” to anyone who got to close

(That’s a face that says “this is funny.  But I’m glad it’s rehearsa-oh god, she’s taking her shoes off now”)

But we got through all of it

And then it was back to my family’s house for dinner

Some of us hit the bar

There was a time when my parent’s house had a living room.  Now, we have a bar.  That’s a home improvement I can get behind.

We had dinner (salmon + steak.  Heck yes)

And them some of us did work

(Cupcakes made by my oldest brother, and decorated by Baby Brother, with some help from my cousins and Callie)

Some of us sat pretty

And some of us got really really sober

Some of us made good choices

(in Baby Brother’s hand is the boot, a relic from my husband and his friend’s college days.  It’s a cowboy boot shot glass with the University of Oklahoma logo on it.  Full of monarch tequila.  Good choice Baby Brother, good choice. )

And somewhere in there, some of us did this

That friends, is a party pig.  It holds 8.5 liters of beer. Which is about 18 pints.  It is empty now.  Whoops.

So, there was my rehearsal dinner.

(Except for the part where I was woken up at 2 am by my husband and his groomsmen in what Baby Brother swears was a “legitimate sandwich making accident.”

Let’s not talk about that)

So in the spirit of the less than stellar choices involved by some *cough, baby brother, cough* what’s a poor choice you’ve made lately?

I’ll start:  I let the kitten sleep in our bed the other night (she normally doesn’t.)  Cue me getting woken up ALL darn night by my sweet little Takeout wanting to knead me, groom me, and play with me.  Goodness.