It’s about an issue we feel strongly about, and it has a message we think more people should be aware of.

The deliciousness of corn tortillas.

Check it out.

1. Went to Walmart two days before Christmas.

The terrorists have won.

We don’t live near a Walmart, so we never go (I’m not above Walmart, let’s not lie. Sometimes a girl needs elastic waist pants. But I’m not going to drive a half hour for some)  and we’d forgotten the majesty that a SuperCenter can be

Yeah, that’s a woman with a bleached mullet in footie pajamas and fake uggs.

Seriously guys, the terrorists won.

2. Went to Bend because it’s awesome. Evidence:

beer + sandwich at GoodLife is $9 before 4 on weekdays. Good beer + a bacon panini. For cheap.  Love it.

(Andrea btw rocks at Bend beer recommendations.)

3. Justin Beiber wrapping paper.

It’s real.

4. Baby Brother got the best Christmas present EVER

you’re welcome Baby Brother.

5. It’s 2012. Bitches.

So, last year my husband attempted to buy me a new laptop for Christmas.

“No! Mine works fine!” I argued.

And so, three months later, my computer crashed.

Twice.

This was a lesson in “when your husband wants to do nice things shut up and let him do them”

So this fall, again, my husband wants to replace my now twice crashed laptop.

I look at the 11 inch Macbook Airs and I love them. I want them to be part of my family.

But, the washing machine has been occasionally not working.

So I say “no, let’s just get a new washer and dryer instead”*

We look at consumer reports and pick one out. Buy it on Black Friday (we had a nice helper at Sears who let us call in to get the deal, so it was just a phone call at 4 am, not a stupid line! Win!)

And last Friday what do I do?

Drop my laptop.

Again.

I am why we can’t have nice things.

*note to everyone: washers and dryers are only an ok gift if your spouse tells you to buy them one. Otherwise they aren’t a present.

But here’s just some of the awesome in my life as of late:

While in Indianapolis, I didn’t just high five the pope. Someone foolishly put me in charge of meals. Which resulted in going to a place called Mug ‘n’ Bun. Mug. ‘N’. Bun. How could you not?

It was delicious. And even the bread on my grilled cheeseburger was salty

I like salt.

And I found Matt from the Real World!

True story: Real World New Orleans was on when I was in HS, and one of my best friends was Mormon. So we loved seeing our respective faiths up on TV. And now Matt from the Real World works for a ministry program that my church uses. Rad! And he was super nice.

Also awesome? My college bestie Sam sent me this

If you don’t get it you clearly need to read more Feminist Ryan Gosling.

But the most awesomeness in my life? Totes my husband.

Evidence: some days I teach and work at the church. This can make for some long days. 2nd grade with a chaser of teenagers? Jesus help me. On one of those days I got home from work and found these

(Two tarts cookies! The best. And tiny, so you can eat like 10)

And this

And, most importantly, this

(whoever came up with the idea of pink cans of sparkling wine WITH straws is my best friend)

Marriage is awesome.

HI! It’s Kalin’s FAVORITE little brother.

She has apparently been a little too busy playing with dinosaurs to blog…

But that’s totally understandable.

I haven’t blogged on here in like 12 years (but at least im not just writing a post ALL ABOUT ORANGES), and in that time I’ve made some new little friends.

First, I fell in love, I met her on October 14^th, and Siri and I fell in love immediately.

Next, I took up biking this summer when I picked up this little friend.

(it’s a 2011 trek 1.5)

I love my lil trek. I can pick it up with 1 finger! And I have the coolest cycling jersey to go with it.

(not obsessed with starbucks at all…)

and I ride my bike EVERY day. Ok, so maybe I haven’t ridden it in like a month cuz im lazy and it’s cold. I have good intentions, but seriously its below freezing out and theres snow. I dont care if I ran a 5k in the freezing cold and snow last year, Im an old man now.

Speaking of running, I havent been doing that. But im going to start again since me and Kalin and her husband are running the rock n roll half marathon in may! I did get new running shoes.

But they are WAY too little for my feet.

And my most exciting news is the addition to my family. I adopted him last, month. He was born in 2007 and weights just 2590 pounds and is 146 inches long.

This is Sheldon* [like Sheldon COOPER from big bang theory] my new car!

He’s just a little car in a big world.

And maybe Kalin will explain what happened to my awesome Jeep I used to have.

And in news unrelated to this post but super awesome, look at this amazing cake my coworked made for our starbucks holiday meeting!

She free handed that! crazzy.

*my car is also know as Anderson, as in anderson COOPER.

Real posts once life is normal again. Whenever that may be.

But here’s the thing. Every year, when Satsumas show up in the grocery store, I call them crack oranges.

I’ve been doing it forever, and stopping now would mean learning how to say “satsuma”. Which does not roll off the tongue the way “crack orange” does.

I went through a phase in college where I exclusively ate crack oranges and the peanut butter flavored South Beach bars.

(I had a whole theory there on why this was a healthy option. Because the South Beach bars had like, protein and vitamins and whatnot. And the crack oranges meant I wasn’t getting scurvy. I got told this wasn’t a good choice?)

Anyways, the most exciting day of the year for me, every year, is when I open up the paper and see this

It’s anti-scurvy season my friends.

Awesomely, this morning when my husband woke up to me telling him about how crack oranges were in at Fred Meyer and we had to go, he, in his half-awake stupor told me “let’s go get you baby oranges”

I tend to call things babies, so I could see how, half awake, he’d get mixed up. But you can’t call crack oranges by the wrong name.

I tried to correct him “they aren’t babies they’re CRACK. Crack oranges”

Undeterred, he responded with “crack babies!”

Delicious, delicious crack babies.

So friends, a PSA. There are crack babies out now.

Go eat them.

Love,

Kalin

(yes, I don’t post in a month and then write entirely about oranges. Let’s not judge, ok?)

(also, wordpress suggested “prenatal cocaine exposure” as a tag for this post. Win)

Thanksgiving in November

So overplayed.

Dude, you know what people don’t celebrate as often in Portland?

Canadian Thanksgiving.

Oh yeah, it exists. It’s ok if you haven’t heard of it. Not many people have. But it’s huge in Canada.

And so much less commercialized. I hate overplayed Thanksgiving has gotten. It used to be cool you know?

I can’t believe people still wait till November for it. You realize celebrating in October also helps subvert Columbus day too? Don’t even get me started on Columbus. Friggin’ colonialism.

Know what else is overdone? Roses.

Dahlias are way better. Plus I got mine from a small farm. You’ve probably never heard of it.

I debated between PBR and a barrel aged sour to go with dinner, but the co-op was closed so we were stuck with wine.

Symphony is kind of a rare varietal. It’s ok if you haven’t hear of it.

(if you look closely there’s a chip in the wine glass. Cause it’s vintage)

For desert we had pie that I baked while my husband watched football. But I baked it in a totally subversive way, I swear.

(pumpkin pie is so overdone. Apple pie is where it’s at)

And then we watched Win a Date with Tad Hamilton on HBO.

Ironically of course.

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!

And I’m going to follow up not posting with a super self-indulgent post.

It’s my blog, I do what I want.

So, I lost some weight. I have nothing interesting to say about it so I haven’t blogged about it, but now my pants don’t fit.

Which is sad because I hate shopping for pants.

And there are better things I’d like to spend my money on.

Like ice cream.

I’ve debated investing in enough ice cream to make my old pants fit again. But that’s probably not the best choice.

So I’ve been looking at thrift stores.

Here are the problems with that.

1. I live in Portland. Full of hipsters. Hipsters thrift. So things get picked over.

2. I am the most average sized woman. There was a time when I was super skinny and it made shopping awesome. Way better pickings when you’re a size 2 instead of a size 8.

3. I like looking for weird things at thrift stores. Not practical things.

4. I’m cheap. I am not going to pay $8 for old navy jeans. And thrift stores will price ish like that.

You put those together and thrift store visits result in buying oh…

this

for your husband

and this

so that no one will ever want to get in your pants again. Best dollar I’ve ever spent.

And pro-American holiday sweaters and frumpers are awesome and all, but it still left me with no pants.

But, I work at a church these days. Jesus and I are tight. And at youth group the other night when I was hiking up my pants for the 10th time he was like “yo Kalin. Give it another go. Cause right now you’re dangerously close to showing middle schoolers your underwear”

So today, I hit up the salvation army and found

pants!

Priced reasonably too! I found a pair of 7s and a pair of Rock & Republics (sadly not my size) for $7. New favorite store.

And this salvation army had a whole section of religious stuff. Which means I also got this

I’m wearing it to National Catholic Youth Conference next month.

Thank you Jesus!

And thank you Salvation Army. You’re my new favorite thrift store.

1. Sometimes the nice people at the sour beer place don’t quite hear what you ordered and you end up with TWO tastes of every single beer they have.

But you’ll be too busy taking pictures of the pretty drinks to care.

2. There are food carts located conveniently close to the barrel house to help soak up the beer

3. Vegetarian friends will be excited when there’s poutine with meat-free gravy.

(Becca, if you’d just move to Portland you could have it EVERY DAY)

4. Fried pie is always a good choice

and the sort of girl who will share fried pie with you post-fried food lunch is the best sort of girl (yay Rachel!)

5. I know some super pretty ladies

6. Becca (the fantastic matron of honor!) brings the best dresses for Liz to wear (Liz is the disco ball in the middle of us. How great is that dress?)

7. Five hour energy drink is the worst

(This may win the prize of “ugliest picture of me I’ve ever blogged”. And that says a lot)

8. Having pretty cocktails means you’re classy ladies

9. Even if later on you attempt to push the bride to be in a shopping cart.

10. There’s a karaoke “I’m on a Boat”.

I know this because I’ve now done karaoke “I’m on a boat”.

(Most of these pics were taken by our beloved Matron Becca, who is awesome)

Happy almost-wedding Liz! I promise to not feed you quite as many shots at your wedding.